I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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