I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
