omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dignity is for republicans.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
