I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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