Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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