so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
