In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
