So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
