He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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