Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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