they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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