I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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