how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
