I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They took my balls.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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