I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My dick has a subreddit
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
