Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
