So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
