Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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