Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
