Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
