why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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