What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
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