He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
