there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
