Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
