i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
