I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize