Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize