Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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