yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize