Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
