I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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