My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
