You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
