U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
