I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
