I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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