i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize