Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
