I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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