I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
