Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
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Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
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Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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