her vagine was all disorganized.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This is the high leading the old right now
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
