so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
