I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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