I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize