he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
