Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
