I got chris browned last night
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize