Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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