I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
