The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
