Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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