The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
where are you?
Hypothermia
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
