Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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