everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
