I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize