dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it glows. i had to have it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
