Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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