who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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