at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
